Sunday was a good day. The kids woke us up and we went in and made a delicious pot o’ mud and breakfast. Beth and I chatted as the kids played. At 10:45 a.m. I said, “If I don’t go to church today I’m probably going strait to hell.” To which she replied, “Don’t even go there.” So I didn’t.
We hung out. I did homework. It was a warm day so we headed out and picked up ice cream and a movie late in the afternoon. I think we talked to family. That was about it. India’s comment today on “A Little Cheese With Your Wine?” sums it up pretty well: I’m tired. I’m tired of the whole church thing.
Incidentally, I started reading So You Don’t Want to go to Church Anymore? at Barb’s suggestion. Thanks Barb. I’m starting to get it. Somebody said they were listening to Paul Vieira’s Jesus Has Left the Building so I started that too. Good stuff.
It’s funny how function-conscious I am. I mean, I want out of this system that eats people alive, but I’m still so conscious of walking away. Notice my focus. It’s not on Christ. Our paradigm is so meeting-driven that we miss simple communion with Christ and his kids. I’m glad He’s patient.
I’ve gained a little appreciation for a simpler faith this week. I had a beautiful time praying yesterday morning… quite spontaneously when I was feeling bad about various things and there He was.
jeff, i can SO relate to the being tired thing…emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc. absolutely drained. its been 18 months since i left my former situation and i am only now starting to feel not so exhausted.
about church, funny thing is, last week i posted on your blog about hating church, but this past saturday night i ended up going with some friends and then out to dinner afterward. the new sermon series is about Job and suffering. it was very much applicable to my life and situation at the moment. one thing that stood out was the fact that the pastor said there are no simple formulas and how suffering does not fit in our tidy boxes and categories for things (ie – if we do good, church, bible reading, praying, etc. then we will be blessed, rich, happy, etc.). anyway, i think god has a sense of humor. and the cool thing is that He really can speak through anything…