Brother Maynard asked the following questions in Recasting Your Story. I joined the conversation from the post Halting Your Story:
What I’m wondering is whether this is a true depiction of the retelling of our stories (verbally or blogging or whatever) — does the process distance us from the pain and loose their grip on us so that we can embrace a new story? Or does it just dredge up the pain and bind us to it more inextricably than before? I tend to think of it as a cathartic process, but is that universally true?
Here’s what I had to say in the comments.
I think the answer to your questions can go many directions. First, I have found telling and retelling my story has helped me process through intense grief and anger. After nine years of being misunderstood and emotionally abused I had a lot of things to work through. The difference between physical and emotional abuse is that with physical abuse one can see the actual scars. Psychological abuse is a lot different. I asked myself “Did that really happen?” and “Is it as serious as I thought it was?” many times on this journey.
Second, I think there comes times during the process that foreshadow the day when our sorrow is gone. The fog lifts and we are able to live without our regret and confusion. Whether that day of freedom comes on earth or when we see the Father in heaven I’m not sure but those times are precious. I know that I’ve experienced many more of those days in recent months after about four years away from my CLB. But each day is different and sometimes I still struggle with the past.
Ultimately, when we tell our story with humility and the hope of reconciliation we are being realistic. We call past events what they are, name them, and name names. Perhaps in the company of friends. We’re not gossiping, we’re doing what we’ve seen in the Bible. We’re telling the story of fallenness and the possibility of redemption. We’re making room for God.
I think recovery is a process. My lips have uttered the words “I want to be over this” many times but I think the last time I said it was more meaningful and heartfelt than the first. So I believe telling our story is part of the process of restorying. Until one day we wake up and we’re free.
I seem to think part of the mystery of Christianity is that we live as free sons and daughters of God while at the same time we suffer while in the flesh. I assumed, based on black and white authoritarian sermonizing, that when Jesus saves a person he is both happy and clappy. No worries right? Perhaps wrong.
God is no less good when we are fighting for peace, he only allows us the struggle of the butterfly. We cannot have life without the struggle to be free of this damn cocoon.
Anything to add?
