Comments on: A Little Cheese With Your Wine?

By: India

India — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:20:23 +0000

Tom, please tell your lovely wife that she should be very pleased that those fine church folks are having a grand time talking about her. Just think, by keeping her as the subject of their conversations, they are not gossiping about others. Think of it as giving those other unfortunate souls a break. I loved it when people talked about me. They still do, I am sure. Makes me smile, because they are not talking about someone else.

By: tom

tom — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:26:22 +0000

Thanks Jeff.

Incidentally, it’s a comfort to know that no matter where in the world you are (I’m in England) there are people going through similar journeys. Helps preserve the sanity! There are others grappling with similar things!

By: Jeff

Jeff — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:33:58 +0000

tom – Wow. Thanks. I have found quitting the Sunday routine has run cross-grain to my religious upbringing. The church crowd doesn’t like it either but if that is what makes me relax in Christ and my Father’s affection then so be it.

The goldfish bowl is not a happy place. I’m glad to hear that your wife is finding peace. Bless you.

By: tom

tom — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:01:23 +0000

Hi Jeff,

Been reading your blog and it really resonated. My wife has been badly burned by church life/people and has decided to walk away from it for her sanity and health. Nevertheless judgement on her has begun. The thing is though, since she made that decision to leave she has been liberated. She’s happier. I love it.
She’s a pastor’s daughter and has lived in a goldfish bowl all her life, with people deciding the person she should be. Now she’s finally discovering who she really is. The church hindered her. Sad but true.

“I’m tired of the game” – I said that only yesterday. Thanks for your truthfulness, it has really helped me.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Tue, 20 May 2008 21:21:36 +0000

India – I think you’re right on the mark. I’ve dutifully done church for 25 years and I’m tired. Tired of the game.

By: India

India — Tue, 20 May 2008 18:38:36 +0000

My advice: Don’t go. Spend Sunday morning lounging in your pajamas. Take in an extra cup of coffee or two. Read the paper. Sit outside. Watch for your neighbors so you can say hi. You sound tired to me. It’s ok to be tired. Do this every Sunday for as long as you need to do it. Get some rest. Then one day, you’ll think, maybe I’ll go to church on Sunday. Maybe not. When you’re ready again, and it may take a while until you’re ready, you’ll go. And you’ll have a whole lot more perspective. Enjoy the journey.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:13:53 +0000

benjamin ady – I think you’re right on the money in your comments about rebellion. There are a variety of hot-button words in evangelicalism that help people maintain the kind of order they seek. Rebellion is certainly one of them. The pastor from my church-left-behind liked the term “independent-spirit” to describe those who didn’t fall into line.

Father forgive your body for failing to love!

By: Jeff

Jeff — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:09:32 +0000

Unorthodoxology – I’m not sure if I’m ready to say rebellion is helpful. I don’t want to be rebellious. But if by rebellion you mean independent thinking and Spirit-led self-direction then I understand.

I don’t want to come off like a hot head, neither do I want to damage the work being done inside the institution. I want love those laboring inside the box even if the trajectory of my life keeps me outside the four walls. Peace.

By: benjamin ady

benjamin ady — Mon, 19 May 2008 19:12:51 +0000

Jeff

Thanks for sharing. here’s to cleaning up vomit and going to church. I’m happy to say that I have managed to mostly avoid “going to church” for a couple years now, and I’m much happier for it. And there is at least one pastor who, I believe, is much happier for it as well. Here’s to increasing the general level of happiness in the world.

Cheese and wine is one of the more brilliant combinations on the planet.

You rock. Rebellion is a word that the powerful use to maintain their power, legitimate or otherwise (in this sense it is very similar to the word “insurgent”) How many times did Jesus use the word? He was more into giving power away than maitaining it. Crazy idea. The guy was really deeply … scary to the pastors-that-be. They got so freaked out they had to kill him. He liked to do comparison along the lines of “church is like vomit” as well. Actually, he went further than that.

By: Mark

Mark — Mon, 19 May 2008 06:33:23 +0000

I have had those days. The tone and message of what you say leads me to believe that you are on the right path, even outside the four walls of a church building. Keep pressing on.